Swine flu...

I've kicked fuck out of swine flu. It's not all it's cracked up to be. I was floored for a day or two but now it's run away and just left me with a belter of a cough.

Helen has been amazing! She stayed home on Wednesday to look after me... she absolutely loved it I think! She made me M&S soup and toast, went to pick up my drugs, fluffed my pillows, made me tea, check my temperature and gave me hugs when I was being a little girl. I love Helen :-) xx

Now, I've done been soppy. Back to man chat... I was brought up in a place where leafs still came through the taps and we had to catch our dinner, it was well 'ard, so I have a pretty good immune system so I'm not ill very often. So I had to figure out how to fill my time....

Being in quarantine means I've had the chance to catch up on some amazing stuff. I'm as out of my tit's on Quincy ME and X Files as I am on Tamiflu. I watched Miss Potter yesterday and finished my "Cornwall's History" book. I've been reminded just how boring News 24 is, how much I hate Richard Hammond, how funny that Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones darts sketch is from Not The Nine O'Clock News and I've had a new chance to watch Scanner Darkly and try and understand it this time.

..... And I've discovered a hidden old gem called Home to Roost staring John Thaw. John Thaw is a legend and this little sit-com is a belter.

My head feels a little bit clearer today although I'm still struggling to concentrate. But I've had a go at a bit of writing and if I can I'm going to do some work. I might watch Flight of the Navigator too... and maybe the Corpse Bride and do a bit of research for my book... we'll see.

Now I'm knackered.
MM xx

A little sumin sumin..

The holiday is over, my summer touring schedule is finished, Nick and Jana are married and some twat has released the Lockerbie Bomber.

Last Friday brought my holiday to a frightening holt when I was dropped at Newquay airport (for airport read locker room) where I was due on the 1250 to Edinburgh. I hate flying. I find it hard enough to get on a real plane with jet engines but this had propellers and was about two feet off the ground. Anyway there was nae harm done and after I'd shaken my way up to Edinburgh I made it just in time for sound check.

Later we went and had a bit of a look at the festival. I can't say no to a flyer so I ended up with about 80 invites to comedy shows, plays, gigs and poetry readings. It's such a vibrant place during the festival. Unfortunately I wasn't there long enough to enjoy it. After the show I was sent straight back to the train station and was on an overnight train back to London. I got home at 0710 on Saturday morning and left the house to get to Nick and Jana's wedding in Surrey for 1000! It was a long day.

Moving on now we are off until the second week in September. We are starting rehearsals I think on the 12th and we're back on the road on the 16th. Any of you who want to come to a show check out myspace.com/tommyreillymusic

Dae it
MM

Rick Steins Sea Food Restaurant...

The meal that nearly killed me across the road from a car park in Cornwall.
16 August, 2009.

Muscles


A total kick in the stones. Normally one of my favorite dishes on any sea food menu. Why add chillies to muscles Rick? That's like putting garlic on chocolate.

That said I still ate the whole lot with no exceptions and I'm glad I did. Because I need something to fill me up....

Crab


I'm really glad I ordered the crab because it means I won't order it again. The experience was great and when I managed to get to some meat it tasted lovely but it was too much like hard work. If you think I'm making it up go and order a full crab and get back to me. A nightmare. Never again.

Pinot Grigio


The wine was amazing though! The best thing about the first two courses. I have noticed that you can really tell a great, expensive restaurant by the wine they serve.

Raspberry Souffle

It broke my heart to eat this. Somebody quite clearly put their heart and soul into it. Served beautifully risen and I managed to eat it before it was flat. Bonus.

Coffee

To finish a delicious Illy coffee complete with a miniature flap jack and a chocolate brownie. Back of the net.


Lots a love
M xxx

So far in Cornwall...

We've been in Cornwall for a few days now and I'm loving it. We are staying at the 5 star Rosehill Lodges in Porthtowan, which I believe is on the North bit of the leg. We are about 10 minutes away from Truro where we played on the last tour. We have a hot tub on the veranda nd a king size bed in each room. It is set peacefully about 10 minutes walk from the beach where, on Thursday morning, I am going for a surfing lesson.

Yesterday we went to the Eden Project. It is a futuristic Eco-friendly park built on the sight of an old clay quarry with two huge Biomes (one which was used in a James Bond film a few years back!) one filled with the Mediterranean habitat and the other a tropical rain forest, complete with ants! They are designed to educate us on what we are doing wrong, how to put that right and what we can do as an alternative. It serves to inspire and encourage rather than frighten us into action. It's kinda nice. We happened to pass one Eco-warrior telling a group of young children how to light fire with sticks and how to most effectively use doc leaf to fight a nettle sting. It's all interesting stuff!



On Sunday we visited Predieux Place in Padstow. It's a massive stately home was completed in 1592 and has the same front door today as it had then. Even the same lock and key. The Predieux family (Now known as the Predieux-Brunes) can trace there ancestry back to the crusades in the 11th century. In fact, I believe our tour guide told us that the present Master is William the Conqueror's 15 times great grand son. The family also owns the oldest herd of fallow deer in the country which can be traced back to when the Roman's were here. It is thought that this herd were enclosed in 435AD and legend states that when the deer die out so will the family.

The most amazing thing for me was in the library though. Among the many amazing first editions there are hand written copies of the first two editions of Dr Samuel Johnson's dictionary.... they must take the prize. I nearly fell over. I know you don't care.

I have fallen in love with a new type of cheese as well. Cornish Yarg it is called. It's a semi-hard cheese hand wrapped in nettle leaves and goes great on a Ryvita. I had some with a glass of rouge the other night and watched Morse. I'm getting old and I love it!

On the way down here we stopped at a Little Chef. The only reason I'm telling you this is because it was the Little Chef in Popham that has been recently revamped by Heston Blumental. The menu was pretty sweet and Michael and I took down the "Olympic Breakfast". Fuck you Olympic Breakfast.


Even before we got to Little Chef I saw the most amazing sight. For those of you who haven't figured it out yet I'm a history geek. I'm a dam cool, sexy and rock'n'roll pop star but I am also a freaky geek. We drove past Stone Henge!!!!!!! I nearly shat. We couldn't stop which sort of broke my heart. What also broke my heart was the fact that we were driving past thousands of years of history. Driving past it. It should be left well alone if you ask me. We've nae respect.

Roon ye
That's enough for now
MM xx

Culture day...

From Gabriels Warf to the National Portrait Gallery. From Globe Theatre to The Clink. Culture day was a great wee time. My highlight though was definitely St. Paul's Cathedral so I've decided to tell you a bit about that place... because I've been lazy and not written for a few days I've forgotten quite a lot of what happened... I am on my holidays... So...

There has been a Cathedral or at least some form of church on this site since around 604AD. The latest is the forth or fifth incarnation and was designed by Sir Christopher Wren a few centuries back and built after the Great Fire of London in 1666. It opened in the early 18th century. Sir Wren now lies beneath in the crypt with, among others, a guy called Nelson and a dude called Arthur Wellesely, Duke of Wellington. He had a big noise. They both like a good fight.

After I got over the fact that there is a memorial in there to a guy called "Roberts" we climbed up to the Whispering Gallery. The acoustics are so good up there that you can literally whisper from one side of the dome and be heard perfectly on the other, hence the name.

The dome also boasts' one of the most remarkable painted roofs of all time. Painted by Sir James Thornhill it is surely a rival to the Sistine Chapel. Legend has it that James nearly fell to his death while painting this masterpiece. Saved only by an apprentice who deliberately smudged some paint so that Thornhill would leap forward in protest. Had he not he would have fallen from the scaffold and surely perished on the floor.

We climbed more than a thousand steps in total to get to the Stone Gallery. We both suffered some dizzy spells on the way up the spiral stair case. It gave me the boke. It was well worth it though to see the panoramic views of London from the top.

Anyway thats it for now.
Good talk
M xx


DISASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'VE JUST DISCOVERED THAT I DELETED ALL MY PICTURES FROM ST PAUL'S. BAD BAD NEWS. I PAID £8.50 FOR THAT AS WELL.

Once upon a time.....

NO NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT ANYBODY.

It never really stops does it? I was awoken this morning, sometime just before 9am, by a call from my best friend in the world, Fast Hands Two Thrusts Wilson.

Some back story for you... Gary and I met at college in 2004 and we've never looked back. We have done everything together. Travelled Eastern Europe, watched each others careers grow fast and shrink quicker. We've been there through break-ups and fuck-ups, good trips and bad come downs. You name it, we've done it.

Back to the phone call....
"Matty?"
"Eh? Aye mate...what's up? It's early"
"I know"
"Where you at?"
"Well"... **Insert (Matty realising something abnormally daft was about to happen) here **..."I'm in Edinburgh"
"What you doing there!?"
"Visiting Annia", a pause at my end.
"Alright. Why you on the phone to me? You don't sound like you're still partying mate."


At this point I should tell you that it's not unusual for me or Gary to call the other one at stupid times of the day to tell each other how much "I wish you were here man, this party is amazing. I just saw the sun come up and it made me think of you...". You know the drill.

"I'm not", said Gary.
"Well what's up", said I...
"I've got no shoes on"
"Well put your fucking shoes on! I can't do it for you over the phone! What's the matter with ya?!!"
"I'm in the middle of an Edinburgh suburb, Matty I don't know where my shoes are."

By now I'm sat bolt upright in bed. Trying to picture Gary walking barefoot through Edinburgh... It wasn't that hard to imagine.

"What?"
"I said, I don't know where my shoes are"
"No, no, I heard you. I just want to know how a man finds himself parted from his Reeboks, on street 50 miles from his house and doesn't know why?"
"I don't know. I was in a bar last night telling a joke and the next thing I know I'm talking to two strange guys. Now I've got no shoes, or bag and I don't know where Annia is and she isn't answering her phone".

Can you imagine what's going through my head at this point ladies and gentlemen? For those of you thinking "Matty!!! Get on a train and go help him", I live in London.

Thinking a bit clearer now and trying to make sense of what awoke me from my dream I say...
"Well let us not worry about said shoes and bag mate. You can live without them for now. Sha;; we concerntrate our joint efforts and try to find the person you have lost?"

Annia is a friend of ours you is from Germany. I didn't want to make any "Is that the Annia's house?" phone calls today.

"She isn't answering her phone", said Gary. "I might just need to get a train".
"Bad idea mate. If something has happened you don't want to make the police come and find you"
"Oh shit. I don't know what to do"
"I do. You try calling her again and I'll check facebook, see if I can find a number for her work. I'll call you back in two minutes to see if you have reached her on the phone".

Some time passes. Just a few minutes. I have managed to get a number for her work. It is frightening how easily you can get info on people through networking sites.

***Ring Ring***
Gary's voice, trembling now in the early morning mist, "Straight to voicemail"
"Right mate don't you worry", I said, shitting myself "I'll call her work, it's after nine. That's where she'll be and that's why she ain't answering. Now don't worry mate. This'll just be a funny story later"
"Don't blog about it, I'd be too embarressed"
"I won't mate" :-)

***Ring Ring****
"Hello, ****** ***** company, how may I help?" said a pretty, posh Scottish accent.
"Oh hello there and a good morning to you. May I please speak to Annia *****"
"Certainly sir, hold on just one minute and I will hop on to my little broom stick and find her for you... you foxy devil". Well that's almost what she said.

***Insert hold music*** Let's imagine it was "Krack" by Soulwax.... ah, that's nice.

"Hello sir?"
"Yes I'm still here me lady. How was your flight?"
"Fine. Sir, she isn't here".
"Exsqueeze me?"
"She hasn't turned up for work today. Nobody know's where she is"

***Ring Ring***
"Right Gaz? Get yourself to a police station. No fucking about now. If they don't section you for wearing nae shoes you'll be fine. Tell them exceactly what's happened and don't delay. Flag down the nearest black hackney carriage and be on your way." I always get Elizabethan when I'm in a panic.
"Where is she?"
"Don't know, she isn't at work. As far as I can tell you two went out last night, you've been drugged and robbed... of your shoes... and bag... but not your wallet or phone for reasons that'll become obvious at the end of the story... and Annia has been raped, possibly murdered and I can't deal with this right now. I know a good lawyer. I'll call him you try Annia one more time. And if she doesn't answer I'll kick your eye brows off."

By now I've choked on my cereal and I'm checking train times to Edinburgh.

As the phone rang again the sweat was blinding me....

***Ring Ring***
"Gaz?!"
"Aye mate"
"What's happening? Do I need to get on a train?"
In a sheepish tone he says..."No it's OK mate"
"Explain yourself"
"I spoke to her, she is OK"
"Where is she?!"
"At home, in bed with a Paracetamol"
"EH? I thought she was in a ditch? What happened"

Here comes the excuse....

"Well mate I asked her what happened last night and she said, "We came back to mine and fell asleep""
"You fell asleep?" I said aguast.
"Yeah. I must have woken up and thought I was in Glasgow and tried to go home and been found by two guys in the street. I think I remember waking up on their couch now actually."
"But what about the shoes man?! You were robbed of your shoes!"
"It turns out, Matty, they're at Annia's house with my bag. I must have taken them off before I went to sleep and simply forgotten to put them back on. When I left Annia's thinking I was in Glasgow but I was in Edinburgh"
"So you weren't drugged and Annia is not dead."
"No"
"How much did you drink?"
"Two Jeager's and coke"
"DICK!!!!!"

And everyone lived happily ever after.
THE END

Here's what's happening in your world tonight...

This week I have met Lulu, I have a new driving instructor called Mohammed Ali, travelled over a thousand miles, played one show in The Lake District, seen Lister from Red Dwarf, felt ill, been on the tele, received my very own, moulded, in ear monitoring system and I have taken to doing everything in a big, deep, booming voice as if I am Ron Burgundy. So with all that going down I have had very little time to write.

"Now out to our man in the field, Brian Fantana...."

"Thanks Ron. Having slept on the floor for four nights at Gary's famous West Glasgow Penthouse Matty has developed a serious knot in his back the size of a Panda's head. I tried to get an interview with him but I was told "No, he is a live drummer and will literally kick your eye brows off". I don't think we'll hear much from him until after the experimental surgery early next year."

"We do know that some delight was taken last night Ron, when he discovered a whole wheel of cheese in the fridge next to the milk. More good new last night came in the form of a welcome pack that arrived from the MU. A spokesman for Matty said it included;

1 x membership card (ORANGE), 1 x members' pen (RED) with the tag line "Get It In Writing" on the side, 1 x MU members' diary (baby pooh GREEN), 1 x "Approved Guidelines For Aviation Security" pamphlet (WHITE with STRIKING DEATH RED piping), 1 x Musicians Union members' handbook with an introduction from General Secretary, John Smith. Thanks Ron. Back to the studio..."

A gripping story. Compelling and rich. Well that's just about all we've got time for this evening, you stay classy San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?

Peace
MM xx

Early on a Glasgow morning...

Morning boys and girls... do you have any idea what time it is??!! Jesus!

We are off to do STV today in Glasgow. For those of you who don't know that is the Scottish version on ITV. I had a total twinge when I found out because the email said we were being interviewed by Lulu...... I have since found out that it is a different Lulu... How can anyone get away with using that name? I'm raging! Not as raging however as I was when I looked in the mirror this morning and realised that I looked like a hairy bag of nails. So I pulled on my finest fighting shorts and braved the early morning Glasgow "sun" on Maryhill road, dodged the commuter traffic and bought some new hair gel and a packet of Gillette Blue II razors. In many ways I prefer radio.........

So I am going to do a new video diary today as well for the lovely people at wristband4festivals.com. I was a bit disappointed with my last effort so I need to up the ante this time and learn a few lessons. In other good news this week I have finally up-dated the software on my computer so I should be able to leave people messages on here when they message me! Good news...

And finally, for anyone the least bit interested, I am slowly raising my profile as well. I am trying pretty darn hard to force myself into being a writer... I want to do so much I can't be ignored!!

Lots of love and I hope you're still in bed unlike me
M xx

Immy's 24 Redemption...

I been having an absolute nightmare for the last couple of days. I think it's a prolonged hang-over guilt designed as punishment for getting so disgracfully drunk on Saturday.........

You know that feeling when something gets under your skin and you can't put your finger on it or shake the bad feeling in your gut? It's giving me the boke. To top it all of I've been stuck with a rubbish internet connection and everytime, in the last two days, I've tried to log into my blog account my computer has crashed. it's not good at all... I am not a happy man.

So as I sit here procrastingating, staring at Top Gear, drinking tea and eating toast topped with an unhealthy amount of butter I have been trying to think of new things to write about on my blogs and on the festival website. I've come up with a few good ones I think. I always find that is the best way to deal with being a bit depressed, throw yourself into work and bury those issues deep, deep down until they've gone.

Hold on....I need a fag...

Thats better. So this week we had a dinner guest on Moonday night. My mate Immy brought her pet Morgan round for some salmon and mash. (You have no idea how much writing that sentence made me laugh.. Sorry Morgan). Immy was wearing the most amazing AC/DC t-shirt of which you will see a picture at the top of the page. I drank quite a lot of Port which I found temporarily theraputic and then we downloaded "24 Redemption" which we watched last night. Up to season 7 now. It's good times.

Anyway I don't know what else to write today, I've enjoyed this little ramble though. I'm off to do something vaguely constructive now.

M xx

The Mid-week ramble...

So this week I have had a visit from my favourite band "Ross Clark & The Sarves Go Missing". A two day trip to London for them to play at 229 on Great Portland Street. The show was, as always, terrific but I can't stress how much I wish there was a bigger audience. On Wednesday morning I went to visit aa man in Enfield who put polyfiller in my ears and charged me for the pleasure. I'm not as stupid as I sound though... I was being fitted for moulded In Ear Monitors... I can't wait to get them and try them out! The geek in me loves this stuff! The hope is that they let me feel more comfortable on stage and I'll at last be able to stop wearing plasters over my ears at every show. I look like a pillock.

TThe best thing that happened this week though was all the kind messages I got from people having watched my video diary. In honesty I really didn't expect much of a response so a massive thank you to all those who wrote to me. I am going to try and improve on it this week and show people more of what they want to see.

Anyway that really is it for now. Just a quick up date for everybody....

Oh wait a minute I want to say hey to my mate denise who is a million miles away in Cambodia living with a bear called Ralph. I miss you mate and I can't wait until New Year to see you and we can party like it's 1999.

Love
M xx

The day I went to a kids party...

I woke up this morning and the first thing I saw was Helen eating some cake for breakfast. I loved it so I had some. I of course did that man thing "Oh I'm not doing that it's discusting, YUK. I might go for a run..." and then ran straight to the fridge and destroyed 6inches of M&S Lemon Sponge Roll, a light golden sponge with a zesty, lemon curd and buttercream filling. It gave me a twinge.

And incidently a "twinge" is just what I got at T4 this weekend. For those of you who don't know, T4 on the Babewatch is essentially one big kids party. No other festival I've ever been to has had a "Parent Drop of Point" sign on the approaching road. But this sign lead us to wonder if the afore mentioned point a safe place for children to be dropped of by mum and dad or is it a bar, serving a tremendous Sunday lunch where children can drop off mum and dad while they go and dance inappropriately at Dizzee Rascal?



Call me a grumpy wee bum but it was raining mmost of the day. Nobody wants to go the beach in the rain, do they? Apparently they do and some 40,000 revellers proved that point, alothough, the look on Sophie Ellis Bexters face hinted that sge agreed with me. Either way a good time was had by all. I'm looking forward to next Sunday though when I can sit and watch the highlights on the tele with a fresh cake and a cup of Tetley's.

This is my "old man" blog.

****************************************************

In other news this week I had a go at making a video diary for the first time. It should be available to see on www.wristband4festivals.com about now so go and check it out.

It proved a bit harder to do than I anticipated. It's just not cricket to go walking about back stage at these place with a video camera unless you're the BBC. So I missed a lot of the stuff I wanted to capture. But I am still full of new ideas and I think I'll be able to make a better go of it next week. It was a lot of fun trying though and I am going to have another go this week at Ben & Jerry's.

If you are reading this after watching the video please leave me a comment and let me know what you thought and/or what you'd like to see next time.

I'll get you next time Gadget
M xx

I might try voyeurism...

200 views!!! I know that most of them are probably me but they can't all be!

This week I am venturing into the wonderful world of video diarism. I've been doing things for the first time quite alot lately... TITP, being on the TV, getting published and last night I went to a restaraunt by myself for the first time... quite an exilerating experience.

So I want to talk today, a little bit, about the video diary. I've been asked to do it by Lyndsey Oliver who is the fanastic person that agreed to put my writing on her website, www.wristband4festivals.com. My heart skipped a beat when I read the email because it's not something I've ever thought about doing but it'll be great fun.

Now I'm technologically impotent so I've had to practice.... yep that image in your head is correct. I have been sitting in my living room talking to my mobile phone on my own but it has served a purpose. I needed to make sure I could get it on to my computer, try doing a bit of basic editing and make sure I was using the camera the right way around (which I wasn't at first!).

I've also made a bit of a plan. This weekend I'll do an introduction to me and the lads. I have a pretty good idea what I am going to film and it'll be as cool as flip. Next weekend I'm going to do something a bit different... the ideas are keeping me awake at night...

If anyone has any suggestions about what they would like to see please let me know and I'll see what I can do...

In other news I have started following a new blog with no writing on it. It'll be good when he gets his arse in gear.... GO BIFF!

Lot a love
M xx

17 things I did at TITP...

T In The Park? DONE! What a wewekend we had! We were treated like kings by everyone all weekend and the show couldn't possibly have gone any better! I spent Friday and Saturday with my old pal Murphy and my former manager drinking beer in the hospitality section while Tommy lit the Media Village on fire! I got to see a bit of Franz Ferdinand, all of my mates band Broken Records, a wee flick of the Yeah Yeah Yeah's and some Kings of Leon. I must confess however that I didn't go and see that many more bands because sitting on the grass in the sun was just way too much fun if you compare it to fighting your way through crowds of ned/chavs.

By the time it got around to Sunday and we were given our Artist Village passes I wasn't going anywhere. I had to spend my time figuring out who I could spot, what I could get for free and how much lavish food I could get in ma belly....

Here is a quick run down of Sundays events....

1 Got out of bed in the middle of the night (0700)
2 Got to TITP at @ 11am had some free coffee and coissants
3 Watched Edith Bowman play swing ball
4 Chatted to Paolo Nutini's band mate Michael
5 Met up with Keren and Paul Wilson from Snow Patrol
6 Had dinner at the table next to Kelly from Bloc Party
7 Had power nap and woke up to see Peter Doherty standing in front of me
8 Got a free luxury haircut from on site sylists, The Rainbow Rooms
9 Saw Lily Allen and fell in love with The Saturdays and Little Boots
10 Watched We Were Promised Jetpacks
11 Played a show in front of 1700 mad people. NB It was the first time they've closed the gates to the T-Break tent!!!
12 Had more free food (Salmon, profiteroles, coffee)
13 Met Matt who guitar techs for Elbow
14 Met some Dave and Robbie from Hip Parade... called Tim coz we were drunk
15 Got really hammered on Rouge
16 Watched Blur + entourage leave Artists Village to go on stage
17 Drove out of the arena to the sound of Blur singing "...A very big house in the country..."

Yesterday I got a lift home from the Dykeenies and listened to Wedding Crashers and Superbad from the front of the van.

Next week it's Love Box with Duran Duran on Saturday and T4 on the Babewatch on Sunday

Love
M x

T(ommy) In The Park!!!

Officially renamed by sponsor, Tennents Brewery, this year T In The Park becomes known as Tommy In The Park. The festival begings tomorrow when we arrive in transit to cut the tape and declare the festival open and the beer taps on.

To put my day today in persective for you last Sunday morning I arrived at a rave at 6.45am. Today I got out of bed at 6.45am. I was on a train from Euston at 8.30am and in a rehearsal at 1pm. Which one do think was my favourite 6.45?

Tommorrow starts a busy weekend full of press interviews, secret shows for compition winners and then a headline slot on Sunday on the T Break Stage. I'm excited. T isn't my favourite festival, anyone who knows me knows that, but for Scottish festival goers and Scottish acts it is the biggest and for that reason I am so excited about playing. I'll let you all know how it goes next week.

To celebrate the start of festival season here is my list of essential list of festival gear.........

Fashion
1 Wellies
2 Waterproof Jacket
3 Festival shorts
4 Festival hat(s)
5 Sunnies

Health
1 Vitamin B
2 Water
3 Fruit (do you believe me?)

For the gig
1 Hair gel/spray
2 The dangerous jeans
3 Sticks
4 Attitude! :-)

It basic but it'll do I reakon.

In other news today Gary and I gave ouselves new nicknames. I am "Snake-hips McIvor" and he is "Swedger Two thrusts". I thought long and hard about his new name and to break it down for you the first word is his hobby and the last bit refers to his longevity.

Anyway it's bed time so get it roon ye
M xx

Clowns ain't funny... you know and I know it...

Season 5 of "24" is blowing my mind! It is remarkable. I definately want to be Jack Bauer... I might go get a gun and a torch and some issues and see where it's at. Unfortunately Helen is at her mum and dads and I can't watch the final few hours until she is home... Baws.



In other news yesterday I met up with my mate Imran. We went for a walk down the south bank as far as Tower Bridge. At City Hall there was some crazy festival going on. In front of Boris' office there is a hole in the ground. My best guess is that it maybe used to be a hole for stoning Scots or tarring adulterous women or something... it's right across the river from Traitor's Gate... Anyway, last night it was being used for a wicked festival with a cover band playing a medley of Michael Jackson songs when we were there. They were dead good. There were kids and mums and dads and grand parents dancing like mad. Pretty cool. I was very impressed.



Anyway the whole point of this blog is to show you some pictures from the bank of the Thames that I took last night. The light was amazing as you can see. I want a proper camera so bad... hint hint for birthday Grandad...

Just to let you know I haven't been to see anything out of my book yet because I'm broke. BOSH

Oh tish and pish.... I forgot to tell you about the carousel (don't know if thats how you spell it!) It was really pretty and slightly haunting. Fair grounds are built to frighten children and I don't care what you say. It's like cartoons are quite clearly invented at 6am by a man who 's been up all night on an acid trip. Have you ever watch "The Magic Roundabout"? By the same token those men who dress up in big shoes and make up, live in a caravan, are married to a "psychic" with a crystal ball and who's eyes are a bit too close together, are not trying to entertain our children, they're trying to frighten them!!! Listen to the music for a start. Fairground music is used in horror films for goodness sake! It's obvious. We are all scared of clowns.

Its a joke

MWHAAAAAAHA!
M xx

BOSH and DOOSH....

In the words of Lister..."Smeg!!!!" This weeks show at Ragley Hall in Warickshire has been cancelled. Now I have an extra week in Londinium with which to spend money and not make any. So I have been trying to decide what I might do to fill mey time.

Number one on the list is to complete a few songs. Way back before time began in darkest January I started to write what I thought might be a little EP which I might record when I get my studio back. Initially it was to be a handfull of acoustic songs that I might or might not have taken to an open mic night somewhere to strip myself of the little dignity I had left. Now however I have "new balls", as they say at Wimbledon. I have taken a little dose of inspiration from a night I spent with "We Were Promised Jetpacks" in King Tuts a few weeks back and set my sights a bit higher. I'm going to get Ross on drums, maybe Raph on bass, borrow a guitar and amp from somebody, persuade Fish to dig out her keys and sign a major record label before christmas. Maybe.

I have also started reading a book called "I Nver Knew That About London" by Christopher Winn. It is a book filled with facts about London that, surprise surprise, you don't know. For example, did you know that the oldest church in London is called All Hallow by the Tower? It was built in 675 and in the Undercroft you can actually walk on a piece of tesselated Roman pavement that was laid there in the 2nd century. Did you know that the Whitechapel Bell Foundry was established on 1570 and is the oldest manufacturing company in the country?? No you did not. All this brings me to the second thing I'm going to do with my time off and that is go and see some cool stuff. And then I am going to force this information on to unsuspecting people like you.

Last night we went to see Dave Gorman. I'll be honest I wasn't that excited about it because I've seen him before and he didn't light up my life. But last night he crippled me. Very funny, great company, good times. Helen fell asleep on the bus home and started snoring... which was as funny as Mr Gorman.

I'm off for a banana sandwich.

"til next time... M xx

That was wierd...

I just watched myself on the tele for the first time. Never done that before. It took me a while to pluck up the courage to do it and, while I'm glad I did, I might not be in a rush to do it again. It looked good though. It's kind of bizzar watching a documentary about Tommy on the show, seeing footage of him win and Alex James crying while I had no idea at the time that I might be involved. While all that was going on I was convincing myself, very slowly, that I was going to have nothing to do with music, probably, ever again. It's a funny old world.

I still haven't fully adjusted to being home. I wake up every morning and feel a strange sense of guilt that I have nothing to do and knowing that I can't afford to do nothing. I want to fill my time with things. So this week I am going to start driving lessons again if Nazir is still talking to me. I am going to think about trying to give drum lessons as well and register as self-employed and join the PPL and MU.

"Jackets" appears to have missed the charts and Michael Jackson has a record 43 of the Top 200 UK Chart. I'm not going to pretend it's not a bit of a let down but "ding, ding" it's time for round two. In the grand scheme of things it not enough people have been able to hear the song and that's a shame because it's a great wee tune with a smashing chorus and I think, given some radio play, it would have done a lot better.

Now I'm going to give you a little run-down of the tour stats and I'll let you in on the nicknames we all had by the end of the tour. So here they are...

1.. TV Rizzle, The Rizz, Tommy Rizzle (Tommy)
2.. Mr Skene, G Man The King Man G (Gordon, bass, celo, piano)
3.. Matty Roberts Drummer, McIvor, Fat Matt The Hit Man Hat (Me, the clue to what I do is in the name)

....... Someone is cooking a BBQ outside my kitchen window...smells magic...

4.. Brown Smoke (Calum, backline professional)
5.. DLo, One-peice, Justin, The Darkness (Darren, backline professional)
6.. Grahab... (Iain the Tour Manager, driver, sound man (lost out for some reason... think it's because no-body wants to annoy him incase he turns over another table))

We traveled 3802.8 miles (approx) over 26 days. We played 16 shows, had one production day before we left and did one TV show. That is 11hrs 30mins of music, 63hrs 56mins in a van, plus an extra few on a train for the band to go to and from T4. We stayed in 1 Dolby Hotel, 1 Brookdale Hotel, 1 Beacon Hotel, 1 Days Inn, 3 Ibis Hotels (one for 2 nights), 2 Jurys Inn's (one for three nights (two for the band)), 3 Holiday Express Inns, 3 Travellodge's and 1 night for the boys in the legendary Columbia in London.

We played in front of a few thousand of the prettiest people in the UK, played my first Ludwig kit, saw Prodigy arrive at Rockness in a helicopter, I shook Simon from Biffy Clyro's hand, got lost up the hill where they film Skins in Bristol, had a day out in the Historic City of York, sat in a wheelchair for the first time in Manchester, played to a sit-down crowd for the first time and did my laundry in Exeter, got really drunk at a house party in Cornwall, left before the fighting in Southampton, slam danced at a club and drank a whole gallon of water on stage in Oxford, Iain lost his iPhone in Nottingham, I had a "moment" with Smokey and One-Piece on the beach in Brighton, got a Tommy Reilly drum skin, met Miquita Oliver and filmed my first TV show, saw up-close but didn't get to meet Naboo from the Might Boosh, got thrown from a shopping trolley and went for a drink in the oldest pub in England which is in Nottingham, found out what shape a napkin/serviette is and finished "Deception Point" by Dan Brown.

All in all it was a pretty good hussle. And, thanks to the power of the internet, even if I never do it again I'll always have this wee record.

Lots a love
M xx

Rest In Peace Mr Jackson.

This has been a tragic week in music. We lost Michael Jackson. Love him or hate him he is, without doubt, one of the best and most influencial musicians ever to have walked the earth. Although his life in recent years has been plagued with controvercy it will be his legendary dancing and cross-over music which should, rightly, live on forever. He was the very definition of an entertainer, a very limited breed and perhaps he will be the last real pioneer. For me he represented the extreme musical genius that very few people are ever able to achieve. Perhaps they are right though when they say that genius is very close to maddness. Even so I will miss him.

Mxx

Glasgow town is too hot!!!

A quick up date for you....

Tommy is embarking on a promo tour this week and the first single "Jackets" came out on Monday! It is a nervous week for us all a big big week! Lets all hope that it goes well...

We played a live radio show on Clyde One On Demand on Monday eve which was lovely. There was about 50 On Demand winners there to see us perform and we met some very lovely wee faces :-)

Tonight we are playing on BBC Radio Scotland at midnight. Its another live show with one of my favourite people Mr Vic Galloway. I'm very excited!

A couple of strange things happened this week as well. Whilst walking through the London underground with my Grand Dad Tom last week I saw two posters for festivals we are doing this summer with our name on them! I took a photo which might be a bit weird... Also last night on the way to the pub with Mike and Gaz I saw two massive posters for the single so a took a picture of that too... I think it's great and I don't care!

Yesterday I chilled in the Botanic Gardens in scorching 32 degree heat.... dynamite!














Gordon has been providing the entertainment this week as well. I've been to see him play with his other bands "Moth and the Mirror" who are awesome and "Brother Louis Collective" who are sickeningly talented too. On yersel' Mr Skene.





Lots a love
M xx

Why oh why....

...is the tour over? I don't ever want to come home again! Being on a tour is quite unlike anything else man. On the one hand you want to spend a day in your pants, lounging on the sofa watching Top Gear, eating some chicken and maybe some sex... but on the other you want to stay in performance mode, sitting in a van, watch a couple of bands, eat some rider and make love to a drum kit.

I know what you're thinking but thats not wierd.

So now I'm home for a couple of days and thats great. My Grand Dad came to visit and I went to Tower Bridge and the Planetarium and went to a party. Tomorrow I'm going to Glasgow at 930am to do a couple of radio show over the next couple of days. Thats all cool but I'm going to let you in on a secret............

............ the other night (the first night back home) I couldn't sleep. Instead of counting sleep I played through, in my head, one whole gig... every beat...every cheer... every song.... that's how difficult it is to get out of tour mode...

I love ya and I'm going to leave you with a picture of Clarko who played the last two shows with us... he is one of my favourite musicians in the world...



You're welcome :-)
M xx

Rockness... hell yes!!!

The most insane day of my life!!!! We left Glasgow at 7am to take a few thousand people to pleasure town. I mean I could sit hear now and give you a play by play of the whole day but that would bore me and you so I'll just shoot for the best bits.

When we arrived, at about 12 bells, we were sent to our dressing room which was only next to Placebo's dressing room... so that was a normal start to any day obviously...!!!! Then I got told off by Iain because I let the side down by forgetting a vital bit of kit which meant I couldn't put the brand new Tommy Reilly drum skin on my kit which Iain had had courriered up especially from London. I was not popular. We figured we ought to have a quick look at the stage we were about to play on... the band before us were the Magistrates I think... a great band but there was nobody watching... that made me a bit nervous I'll be honest. I certainly had been looking forward to this show and the last thing any of us wanted was for nobody to be watching. It was a big day for us.




The way it works at these big festival shows is that the drums are set-up on a "rolling riser" while the band before you are on. That means it's set up right for me and when that band come off my drums a literallly rolled on to the stage, locked in position and left. Very cool if you care about that kinda thing. Meanwhile, while the boys are taking care of that we are backstage getting our game faces on (lemon face, lion face styley) and I was praying that we weren't going to be playing to an empty field. Then, as if from nowhere, starting as a faint whisper and developing in to a thunderous roar, a "Tommy, Tommy, Tommy f*%king Reilly" chant from the crowd sent more eagles than butterflies in to my belly. As we walked on the noise nearly knocked me off my feet and the scale of what was about to happen sunk in. The rest was just a very noisy pop concert. I've never hit the drums harder in all my days. And, as if rehearsed, during the break in "Grab Me By The Collar" a dude threw a football at me and he actually hit the kit! I stopped to threw it back. appaerntly I was on the big screen at the side of the stage... me!! HAAAA!




It was wicked man we got a pile of love. I felt like we were playing a real show. I mean the Prodigy were on just a handfull of bands after us! THE PRODIGY!!!!! I learned to play the drums along to "Fat of the Land" when I was a kid and now I was them arrive in a bright orange helicopter man... how cool is that?... to play on the same stage as me. To give you an idea of the scale I've put some nice piccys in for you. I took some and Darren "one piece" Hawkins took some.

T4 Special!!!!

How many people does it take to make a TV show?? Lots apparently. . .

At 10am on Tuesday 2nd of June we were delivered by a flustered taxi man to a roof top on Bricklane... My television debut had begun! Upon our arrival a cool wee dude (I think called Luke) was handing out bottles of water to an already sweaty bunch, it was about 30 degrees. Tommy Rizle was screaming his way through "Gimme a Call" whilst we all looked on and a couple of guys walked around with their camera's. It was a strange specticle and everybody treats you so nicely.



After the initial singing and dancing we were hoisted to an even greater height where a lovely Scottish lady from Aberdeen insisted that we needed to wear make-up. Now I'm not going to lie... I have worn make-up before, just never in front of anyone. After Tommy had been interviewed on his own, co-stars Gordon and I, were summoned in front of a camera to be introduced to the T4 kids. When you realise there are two television camera's in front of you strange things start going through your mind and I became very conscious that everything I said and did was being recorded. It's a bit like that feeling you get when you walk in a room and everyone goes quiet and looks at you. Except you're walking into a thousand living rooms and bedrooms on a sunday morning. Very bizarre.



After that it was into another car and across London again (via a music shop, because guess who forgot to pack his drum sticks?) to Princess Productions where the T4 studio is. After an M&S Chicken Caeser salad and an emergency energy drink we went to film the playing of the songs. How cool is this? I got to choose the drum kit I played on the tele and have it delivered to the studio and set up for me (how mad is that!!!!) by a nice guy from John Hendry rentals. I went for my dream vintage Ludwig kit in a silver sparkle finish. After a few minor adjustments the camera was rolling again and we did a few takes... hang on, they don't call it a "take" like they do in the movies, they call it a "pass".... go figure.














Afterwards Tommy did a studio interview with Miquita, who is even hotter in real life boys and talked about life after the unsigned show. Bits about the singles and making the album with Mr Butler and a bit about not getting dropped by the label. And like that we were done. I hope you all get to see it. It was a magic day for me. I just feel so lucky to have been blessed with such a great opportunity and to meet so many great folks along the way makes it even better...

Who'd of thought eh?!
M xx


Ps We would all like to hear what you guys think of us.. So if you've seen us play or have put any videos on Youtube let me know so we can check them out!!!

Lots of love x

Sorry boys and girls...

I haven't been able to get on the net for nearly a week... it's been very frustrating! So what I'm going to do is spend ages tomorrow doing a T4 behing the scenes bit of chat and then tell you about the other shows and stuff.

Lots of love for now and thanks to everyone who has come to see us over the past few weeks... you cheeky little swines xxxx

Home home home!!!!

Back in London for a night at home!! YAAAAAASSSS!!! I'm expanding my mind with some Elmore Judd on the CD player and drinking a fantastic coffee and a smoke by my kitchen window.

Tonight is going to go:
1 Cuddle from Helen
2 A steak with mustard mash and gravy
3 A roasting hot bath and a glass of rouge
4 Scrubs
5 My own bed where I intend to sleep, star-shaped, until my name changes to Rip Van Roberts.
DONE

Tomorrow though it's an early start. We are filming a short documentary, behind the scenes style thing for T4 and recording a couple of tracks for the kids. We are doing Jackets and Grab Me By The Collar. I've never done TV before so I'm both excited and a little nervous and a bit wierded out by the whole thing. And then after that we are being driven up to Sheffield to do another fantastic Pop concert.... I love love love it! Somehow the are nearly 200 pre-sales for tomorrow... I think it might mostely be my family! I'm looking forward to seeing my aunt's, uncles, cousins, friends my brother and my grand dad!

I spent the last couple of days in Manchester. We played last night in the Ruby Lounge and there were lots of people there and they were making a lot of noise. Interesting manchester facts for you... did you know that it is home to the tallest residential building in the country? A-top the local Hilton hotel lives the man who designed it in exchange for the top two floors. Genius. I'm a fountain of knowledge eh?

Right I'm off
M xx

Clean socks and caberet...

Day 8
1106.1 miles done
Joiners in Southampton tonight. Been here a few times now and I'm delighted to report that the dressing room ain't scary no more. Good news.

We took a beautiful route here today through some amazing English countryside. There was an abundance of thatched roofs and rolling hills and too many caravans. I thought caravans were extinct.... England can keep them. We passed close to Winchester and I wanted to go and visit Ben but it wasn't going to happen.

So the night before last was in St. Agnes in Cornwall. All I want to say about it was that it happened. It's funnier in hindsight that it was at the time. A packed house but no room for us. In truth I had a riot but I've sort of already blocked it from my mind.

Last night in contrast was in The Pheonix in Exeter and it was the most enjoyable gig I can remember playing in a long long time! It's the first time I've played to a seated audience and it had a real MTV umplugged vibe about it. I've played a real selection of different shows with Tommy now. Everything from crying girls and fist fights in Glasgow to 800 people on a festival mainstage to 40 people in a surfer bar and now a caberet show in a theatre. It's almost too much fun man... it's embarassing.

In other news I'm so glad to report I've got clean pants and socks on today.

Love
M xx

Bacon Towers and screaming in the night... Biatch

Has anyone ever woken at 6am to a beaten man screaming in the corner of the room? That happened to me last night.

Truro went off like a bomb with a messy, noisy end. The show was in a bar called The Wig and Pen and it was packed front to back. The audience was definately not the most lively but they were very attentive. We had to tone everything down but the sound was as good as we have had according to Iain and the job was a good'un.

We met some lovely people after the show and went to a party at Miff from Shipwreckeds house. Aptly named Bacon Towers. What followed can be described only as total carnage as boys and girls played the cat and mouse game and one guy tried seducing the room with diva style vocals over Frightened Rabbit tunes. Dirty man. We had drums and piano and guitars and a PA system in the kitchen. Iain drank 3/4 of a bottle of Laphroige, I got an anchor tattoo and Smoke rugby tackled a bollard... twice.

I've put a couple of pics up for you including a poster from Dot to Dot. Tonight we're in St Agnes playing in a tiny wee place called The Tapshouse. Its so small that we cant fit the drums in the room if we want anyone to watch so we are doing a seriously stripped back version with bits of percusion and stuff. Should be fun because we will literally be making iit up as we go.

Not much more really other than did anyone see the video on T4 on Sunday??? On June 1 we are heading to London to film a T4 documentary on Tommy's stuff so hold here for more info.

Lots of love
See you soon
M x

Skins, fans and millions of miles...

Holy shizzle we're in Truro now. Thats in Cornwall. I've never been here before and the drive yesterday took 6 hours and went through 3 weather systems. So far we've taken down Liverpool, Bristol and Nottingham. They were all good shows... In bristol me and Tommy got lost up the hill where they film Skins... that was fairly mad but you did get one heck of a view of Bristol. Iain also managed to turn over a table in a a pub and call some unsuspecting guy a plook (thats Scottish for spot on your face kids) and start some kind of fight.

The Dot to Dot festival was amazing and I really hope we do it again next year. It took me completely by surprise. We had main stage shows too which meant between 600 and 800 per gig which is nice. In contrast tonight we're taking down a wee plocal pub for some local people.... I'm going to be a nervous wreckk tonight.

Anyway, so far we have met some nice fans, most of them girls for the Rizzle, the video has had it's first airing on the telly which was cool, we heard some really nice thing about it. I've already run out of clean pants so thats gonna be todays mission.

Bands I've seen this week that you have to listen to are first and foremost Mumfred and sons (AMAZING!), Dan Black was good and so were Wolf Gang. So far since Thursday 21 to Monday 25 we have covered 889.4 miles and we've only done three shows.

Maybe we'll talk tomorrow
Love M x

Has anyone else noticed the MIlk Bar Kid is back on the telly?

I'm so happy about it. It should have been me.

Scotland again. I've seen the same lassie selling food in the wee shop on Virgin trains 3 times now.

So today me and Gordon sliced up the rhythm section and BV harmonies until they sounded fantastic! It's fair to say that we were bashing our heads against a brick wall at points and sweating a bit but no pain no gain right? We also had the pleasure of meeting the fifth full-time member of the TV Rizzle road team. His name is Dealo his is a master of all things technical and a damb fine chap.

In other news today Tommy Rizzle was filming the video for the first single off the album, Jackets, in London. It is, I believe, to get its first airing next week exclusively on T4. For those of you who want to watch it I will put a time and date on this blog when we know. There is also a little secret bit of something else that is happening in a couple of weeks along a similar vain... but you'll all have to wait and read about that little gem later.

Tomorrow is going to be a blindingly cool day... I'm very excited! It will be a first for me. We are doing an all out full production rehearsal. We will be getting the in-ear-monitor mixes set up, trying out some lights, all the new pedals and boxes of tricks. I'll be tuning my drums and marking my drum mat and stuff. I'm very excited, (easy pleased) I'll make sure I have some cool pictures to share with you tomorrow night.

Anyway thats about it other than to say I can't wait to start the tour. I think tomorrow is the day everything starts, the full team will be together and we'll be taking this rock show to a town near you! Bring it on!!!


M xx

Q..Why do guitarists leave drum sticks on the dashboard?

Another week of hangovers and rehearsals, Fast Hands birthday and then invention of the Brown Smoke cocktail. We have added the third member to our stage outfit and learned a festival and a show set. The beauty of it is just how fast it all came together. Mr Skene (as he will be known from here on) in the picture with a cello has exceptional chat... he does a mean Old Greg and he looks a bit like Germain Clement... and he ain't a bad musician, I guess.

On Monday we went to see an awesome electro band from Canada called Holy Fuck which was wicked and I reckon we might have a lampy to take to a few festivals with us which will be dynamite.... Do you know what I've forgotten what went on most of this week because it has been a bit hectic and I've got a cold. I think I got high on Vocalzones yesterday though... it's thanks to sod's law that the very day we were due to start working out harmonies I wake up with a sore throat. Can you believe it!?!

Anyway I need to go and have a shower and then I'm going to a wedding in Shaftsbury so I'm outta here for now. If I do remember anything worth telling you I'll write somemore before next week.

Oh, crap, aye we got the radio promo's in for Jackets and they look great and the first single went to radio! How could I forget?! Except someone forgot to choose one logo and stick to it but there you go... Also I got some Bongo's and a stand which we will use in a song or two just to mix it up a bit. I also decided I HAVE GOT to learn how to play the trumpet again so I can keep up with these two overly musicians I'm in a band with! I've started to feel like the punchline to every drummer joke ever invented and I refuse to be justification for prejudice.

Much love... I'm off to pack my James Bond suit
M xx

A..So they can park in disabled