This week I have met Lulu, I have a new driving instructor called Mohammed Ali, travelled over a thousand miles, played one show in The Lake District, seen Lister from Red Dwarf, felt ill, been on the tele, received my very own, moulded, in ear monitoring system and I have taken to doing everything in a big, deep, booming voice as if I am Ron Burgundy. So with all that going down I have had very little time to write.
"Now out to our man in the field, Brian Fantana...."
"Thanks Ron. Having slept on the floor for four nights at Gary's famous West Glasgow Penthouse Matty has developed a serious knot in his back the size of a Panda's head. I tried to get an interview with him but I was told "No, he is a live drummer and will literally kick your eye brows off". I don't think we'll hear much from him until after the experimental surgery early next year."
"We do know that some delight was taken last night Ron, when he discovered a whole wheel of cheese in the fridge next to the milk. More good new last night came in the form of a welcome pack that arrived from the MU. A spokesman for Matty said it included;
1 x membership card (ORANGE), 1 x members' pen (RED) with the tag line "Get It In Writing" on the side, 1 x MU members' diary (baby pooh GREEN), 1 x "Approved Guidelines For Aviation Security" pamphlet (WHITE with STRIKING DEATH RED piping), 1 x Musicians Union members' handbook with an introduction from General Secretary, John Smith. Thanks Ron. Back to the studio..."
A gripping story. Compelling and rich. Well that's just about all we've got time for this evening, you stay classy San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?
Peace
MM xx
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